Module 4: What are you afraid of?

Hi there, 

We’re nearly done with week one already! Today’s topic really is a part of all that I’ve been talking about in your identity, your values, your self-esteem. It has part in what you think and believe you’re good at…

…Fear. Everyone feels it. A helpful acronym for fear is false evidence appearing real. I read recently how we spend the majority of our time worrying about things that never actually happened. What?! We waste a lot of our time worrying about what might happen and stressing over what has already happened. Both of these things, the future and the past, are out of our control. Yet we consistently worry or stress over them. Why can’t we live more in the present? 

Can’t we be intentional about what we are thinking about? Yes!!! 

The first thing we need to do is identify when we are stuck in bad thinking habits. And then we can choose to think in the present, to believe truth. Just because it always has been, doesn’t mean it’s fact. Just because that’s the way you’ve always been, it’s always happened, does not mean that is the way it will always be. You can change. Simple as that. You must be open to this possibility. Identify the problem areas and replace with the desired behavior/thought. 

Another thing to recognize about fear is that it is an emotion that we assign meaning to. In one area of our brain fear triggers our fight or flight response. Fear means danger and so our brains prepare our bodies to fight or flee impeding danger. Even when it is not life or death danger. 

For example, in caveman times a lion would come around and you would need to fight it with your spear, or run away, in order that you would not die. In present times, you might be asked to give a presentation at work or school, and this same fight or flight response will be triggered, but the result is not to get away from death. And as you acknowledge the fact that you’re nervous to talk in front of others, you are not going to actually die. In about 20 seconds the brain’s fight or flight response will settle down a little. You can push through fear and succeed. 

Fear can be fuel. Fear can be fuel to push harder, to grow and learn. 

When you feel an emotion, you assign it meaning. You decide if it is positive or negative, you fit it into your schema of meaning in your world. This is not good or bad, it is how our brains work. And by understanding how our brains work, we can change how we are feeling because we change what we are believing. That’s powerful!

Different people experiencing the same exact event can (and usually do) assign different meaning to emotions and situations. So, despite the fact that the same event happened, the feeling and emotion felt by multiple people is often varying. 

An example would be skydiving – terrifying for some, exhilarating for others. Even the person who is excited to skydive would have the initial fear feelings, they just assign positive meaning to it. 

You get to decide. You can be intentional about catching your thoughts, your feelings (including fear) and make the choice of meaning assigned. Do you want to re-write your story? At least re-frame and change the way your story continues? 

This is where change starts, in your mind. Change starts in your thoughts as your thoughts create beliefs that manifest in behavior, which reinforces thought and belief…

What are you afraid of? Write it down. There’s power in writing.

There is reason for emotions and fear can warn us of danger. Fear can also warn us of false danger. The brain has automatic responses to things to preserve and keep us safe. Sometimes the automatic response is extreme. In example, Public speaking is often a fear for people. The body experiences fight or flight to respond to life and death danger. Public speaking will not cause death, so this is an extreme response.

Choose to face your fears and challenge those beliefs. Make a list of things you might be able to do differently to face fear in your life, in your relationships. 

Then go out and be afraid, be courageous to push through to the other side, alive!

Truth Section

II Timothy 1:7 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 

Philippians 4:6 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.” 

Philippians 4:7 “and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” 

I John 4:18 “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.”

Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” 

Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”

Matthew 6:34 “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

Fear – false evidence appearing real.

You are stronger, braver, and more capable than you even know. 

Inhale courage. Exhale fear.

Hope is the only thing stronger than fear. -Anonymous

You live most of your life inside your head. Make sure it is a nice place to be. -Buddha

When my body gets tired, my mind says: “This is where winners are made.” -Anonymous

“The limit is not the sky. The limit is the mind.” – Unknown

(As an aside, many quotes I get from Pinterest and they do not give credit to anyone, thus the frequent -Anonymous.)

Let’s get unlimited!