Today’s e-mail goes along with a few previous ones in that I want you to think about how you compare yourself to others.
In a sense comparing can give us a benchmark, as humans we create archetypes that represent the definition of things. How this comparison thing can go wrong is that when we compare to others around us, it may not fit with who we truly are, it may not fit the person and values we have.
In example, success in terms of how Hollywood might portray it, involves: beautiful thin, tan body, shiny hair, always smiling, a beautiful partner, perfect child(ren), nice expensive cars, great big house indicative of lots of money, and lots of other material objects, and happiness. This example values greatest money and material objects.
These things are not bad per say, yet they can be dangerous to compare yourself and your life to. And when external things bring happiness, it is not the lasting joy that comes from within.
So, as we see these things in other people, we can compare ourselves and we likely come up short. This example also includes perfection (or very nearly) and again, we compare to perfection always lacking.
You need to decide for yourself, what is really important to you? What do you value most? What things are really not a priority for you? Have you been holding something as a priority because it’s what is expected? Think about your true values and align your expectations with that. It is likely that you could be comparing yourself to another person in an area that really isn’t as important to you.
And, you are not anyone else. Duh. But if you are only you and not anyone else, why do you continue to compare yourself to others? Whose approval are you looking for? Whose approval do you think you need? Whose acceptance are you working for?
It can be a good thing to take notice of others and things you admire and desire for yourself. You can see something in others that you decide to learn about and grow in that way due to their example and influence. You can set goals this way. Yet this is different than comparing yourself in a negative way. Let others spur you on in your learning and growing. And don’t allow yourself to be discouraged as you compare yourself.
Do some writing to explore and express these parts of you.
You’re not done yet! Keep working on you. You have gifts that the world needs!
Truth Section
“I didn’t ask you to be her. I asked you to be you. – God” -Anonymous
“Focus on your own crap” - Anonymous
“Admire someone else’s beauty without questioning your own.” -Anonymous
“Every minute you waste comparing is a minute you could be using to step up your game.” -Bossbabe
“Don’t compare yourself to others. There’s no comparison between the sun and the moon. They shine when it’s their time.” -workingwoman.com
“You don’t have to be pretty like her, when you can be pretty like you.” -Anonymous
Comparison is the thief of joy.
“We won’t be distracted by comparison if we are captivated with purpose.” -Bob Goff